Perfect
by Cherylish15
Summary: Two songfics. The first is a reflection of Lucuis on Draco and the second of Draco on Lucius. (There is one curse word)
1. Lucius

The song used is Perfect by Alanis Morsette.  I do not claim to own it, nor do I claim to own the characters used.  I changed one word in the song because it said girl and I changed it to boy, that word is in parenthesis to show I changed it.

This is from the point of view of Lucius Malfoy, reflecting on his son.

  
_Sometimes is never quite enough  
If you're flawless, then you'll win my love  
Don't forget to win first place  
Don't forget to keep that smile on your face_

I try so hard with Draco.  I just want what is best for him.  I'm his father; I know what is best.  He doesn't get it sometimes and it's so hard.  He doesn't understand what his destiny is.  There doesn't have to be a prophecy for someone to have a destiny.  Draco has one.  He could rule and be powerful.  
  
_Be a good boy  
Try a little harder  
You've got to measure up  
And make me prouder_

I started with simple goals for him.  All I wanted was for him to have the highest marks in his class, but he only had the second highest.  I wanted him to be the best seeker out of the Quidditch teams, but he was second best.  All I asked him was to study more and practice more, but he never did.  I don't want a son who is second best.  
  
_How long before you screw it up  
How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up  
With everything I do for you  
The least you can do is keep quiet_

When he was named a prefect, in his fifth year, I thought things would turn around, but they did not.  Instead, that was when the fights broke out.  He tried to rebel against me.  He didn't want to listen.  He didn't understand that I knew best and all he needed to do was listen and he would win it all.  The least he could do was shut up when I tried to tell him, but he wouldn't.  
  
_Be a good (boy)  
You've gotta try a little harder  
That simply wasn't good enough  
To make us proud_

He never would listen.  He said he studied, but I know that he did not study as much as the Granger girl.  He said he practiced Quidditch, but I know that Potter was practicing twice as much as Draco.  Draco claimed he just wasn't as good as them, but that's not true.  Draco is much better than them; he just doesn't let himself be the best.  He is blinded by what others can do and doesn't realize he could do so much better.  
  
_I'll live through you  
I'll make you what I never was  
If you're the best, then maybe so am I  
Compared to him compared to her  
I'm doing this for your own damn good  
You'll make up for what I blew  
What's the problem...why are you crying_

Draco just doesn't get it.  He thinks that I want him to be like me, but that's not true.  He has the potential to be better.  I am a lowly follower, Draco could be the leader.  He could be the one who commands all; that everybody bows to.  He doesn't understand what he is capable of and doesn't understand that I am pushing him for his own good.  I just want him to have what I never could…  
  
_Be a good boy  
Push a little farther now  
That wasn't fast enough  
To make us happy  
We'll love you just the way you are  
If you're perfect_

I just want what's best for my son…


	2. Draco

The song used is Perfect by Simple Plan.  I did not write it and I don't own the characters.

This is from the point of view of Draco Malfoy, reflecting on the relationship between him and his father.

_Hey dad look at me  
Think back and talk to me  
Did I grow up according to plan?  
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?  
But it hurts when you disapprove all along_

I'm sick of you, dad.  I don't want what you want.  If I wanted to be a Death Eater, I'd be one.  I'm not your puppet, I'm not yours to control.  I just want to be myself and do the things that interest me.  I don't care what you want anymore.  
  
_And now I try hard to make it  
I just want to make you proud  
I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
I can't pretend that  
I'm alright  
And you can't change me_

I used to strive to be like you.  It was my ultimate goal.  I just wanted to make you happy.  I did everything for you.  You said work harder, and I did.  You said practice harder, and I did.  Sometimes no matter how hard you try, you'll just never be the best…there is always someone better that you.  I used to make every effort to please you…  Well, fuck that, I'm done.  
  
_'Cuz we lost it all   
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry   
I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late and   
We can't go back  
I'm sorry   
I can't be perfect_

Sometimes I feel bad.  I think that I should have just done what you told me.  But then I remember that I am incapable of it.  You think it's hard for someone when they know they can't do better, but I don't seem to mind, why do you?  I don't care that I'm not the best.  I don't want to be.  I don't want to be like you.  I don't want to be like Voldermort.  You told me that I can write my own destiny.  Why bother telling me that if you just want to write it for me anyway?  
  
_I try not to think  
About the pain I feel inside  
Did you know you used to be my hero?  
All the days you spend with me  
Now seem so far away  
And it feels like you don't care anymore_

It hurts a lot sometimes to know that you hate me.  But, I just don't want the same things as you.  In my 5th year when I was asked what I wanted to do with my life I said and auror because that is what you told me to say.  I said and I said it for you.  I don't want to be an auror, I want to be a professor or maybe even a mediwizard.  To tell you the truth, I don't really know, but what does it matter?  I know what I don't want, doesn't that count for anything?  
  
_And now I try hard to make it   
I just want to make you proud   
I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
I can't stand another fight  
And nothing's alright_

Nothing will every be as you planned it.  As much as I tried to conform to you when I was younger, I can't do that anymore.  I don't want to be a leader.  I just want to have a simple job and a simple life…  
  
_'Cuz we lost it all   
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry   
I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late and   
We can't go back  
I'm sorry   
I can't be perfect_

I want to get married and have a house load of beautiful imperfect children who laugh at themselves when they make mistakes.  I want them to smile and giggle and choose their own paths.  I want to give them what I never had…happiness.  
  
_Nothing's gonna change the things that you said  
Nothing's gonna make this right again  
Please don't turn your back  
I can't believe it's hard  
Just to talk to you  
But you don't understand_

I don't want you to go away though.  I still want you to be my father.  I still want you to be around me.  Only I don't want you telling me I'm not good enough yet; I want you to tell me that you're proud of the things I've accomplished and you love me just the way I am.  Is that so hard to ask?  
_  
'Cuz we lost it all   
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry   
I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late and   
We can't go back  
I'm sorry   
I can't be perfect_

I'm sorry I can't be as you planned me, I really am.  
  
_'Cuz we lost it all   
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry   
I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late and   
We can't go back  
I'm sorry   
I can't be perfe__ct_

Because as much as I love you, dad, and want to make you happy…I love myself more and I need to take care of my own needs and wants first.


End file.
